Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The Past, the Present, and the Future.

I am usually too tired to post after shows and then like a dream the performances all meld into one giant evening that becomes more and more vague as time goes on. But here I am trying to recall what happened. Thursday seems uneventful because I remember nothing about it. Friday I was guilty. I think there was jury tampering. H has never made it a secret that he wants my character to fry and the jury was just filled with actresses of his. Actresses that also seemed not to care for me. I don’t get that. But so it goes. Saturday was a good show. Very up.

And Sunday…well, Sunday I was on autopilot. I remember saying the words “A twenty-five million dollar loan was necessary…” and realizing oh my god I’m talking! How in the world did I get here? And that line is pretty far into my testimony. I had done at least two full pages before that point. Apparently, in the words of Christopher Walken, I act like a dancer. I can sometimes let go and act on muscle memory alone. Admittedly it will not be the freshest most engaging performance of my life but it’s more than just passable. Sundays are hard for me. I am always tired on the Sunday. If I didn’t have a fulltime job I would have no problems but I do and doing four or five shows a week if exhausting so by the Sunday I start to check out mentally. I was glad to hear that my inner exhaustion doesn’t show at all. Other actors were surprised to hear how disengaged I felt. How surreal the whole performance seemed to me.

Another long week starts for me tonight. A long week but the final week. A benefit performance tonight followed by our regular Thursday through Sunday schedule and a table read for Proposals on Saturday morning. I am so looking forward to Proposals. It’s really nice to have a script in hand and a next show date immediately following a close. It’s a small part but its sweet and potentially a show stealer.

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