Microdirection

Last night was my third rehearsal for Hearts. The floor is being painted for Friday’s Milo Awards so we were in the rehearsal space which I never like. I thought Saturday was a real breakdown. Tonight was even more so. Almost line by line. Lots of looking away. And lots of real microdirection. One step here. Beat. Breathe in. Say the line. Sit on this word. I don’t know. Maybe when I own the lines a little better. Like when I’m off book next Tuesday it will feel a lot more natural. Right now I’m real mechanical. And I feel like all of the choices have been stripped from me. But it’s too early for that kind of complaint I guess. We still have to stage the fight. Not having the porch yet makes it impossible. I’m starting to feel like I’m not acting yet. And its funny but I’m not sure if I always feel like this at this point or not. It’s an odd feeling of isolation and disconnection from the other actors. Where I’m not really listen and I am over anticipating. And I’m worrying about what I look like. None of these things are good. But I’ll be off book tonight and hopefully we will be back in the theater.